Advice and urgent help needed

[Mouse]

Mouse I'm going to start throwing 10 pound plates like discusses at you

Oh stop it - you always know how to say the nicest things sweetie

[danmarmu]

Bump...sorry to add this, but figured any good training routine needs supplementation as a result .

Daniel's Magical PR Creating Elixir.

"Take one drink and have all your weightlifting problems disappear. Instantly break down all barriers and create 30+ inch biceps, squat 2,000,000 lbs without even breaking a sweat. Lose 45 lbs overnight if you are overweight, gain 30 lbs of pure muscle overnight if you are a scrawny weakling. Have all the girls swooning over you constantly. Instantly bust all of your prior PR's without even having to workout. You may ask yourself, "How is this possible?" Glad you asked, it is made possible using a very secret and proprietary blend of herbs and minerals which divine whatever your true goals are make them magically appear. And you can get this for a special limited time offer of only $9.95 for a month's supply. And if you order within the next 15 minutes, you can get the special Mackanno injury busting solution. But hurry, supplies are limited"

[Mouse]

Daniel's Magical PR Creating Elixir.

And you can get this for a special limited time offer of only $9.95 for a month's supply. And if you order within the next 15 minutes, you can get the special Mackanno injury busting solution. But hurry, supplies are limited"

Is this offer still available - i'm interested in a couple of crates

[MrOverheadpress]

Here is a good cardio workout that works for me:
1. do a set of ten bicep curls in the squat rack
2. Run to the mirror and flex
3. Run back to the squat rack, do another set of curls
4. Run back to the mirror and flex.

Repeat as necessary. Also make sure you drink your special K protein water, i i gain 20lbs of muscle with that stuff.

[MrOverheadpress]

I forgot to mention that i got that routine from a member on this fourm. Thank you whoever you are, you changed my life!

[ryano3]

No one has mentioned the holy grail of muscle building exercises: the tricep kickback. 3 sets of 12, do that on your back and tri's day and don't forget to tense your tri's between sets to tone the muscle. I once heard a guy put on 40 pounds in one week alone with this technique. True story.

[Liv92]

Guys get this (you will be in shock) Okay so I'm at the smith machine you know benching some ass heavy weight. I get up to flex my pecs (you know it fills your pecs with blood giving it a better pump) And across the gym I see some noob fucking squatting free weight at the rack looking thing. So I take it upon myself to help the poor nooblet out.

I say "hey buddy you know you could REALLY hurt your knees not squatting on the smith machine, not to mention you could use more weight on the smith."
He goes on telling me about some fancy website he found, and it said how squatting free weight can actually be "good" for your knees. Can you believe him? He also told me that squatting free weight makes you stronger because he said some BS about recruiting more muscles due to not balancing the weight yourself (yeah right.)
I said dude, more weight = more muscle.

He kindly said "thank you, but no thanks." and finished doing his squats. God can you believe the nerve of some people. It's okay he'll be back to ask for advice once he bangs up his knees.

[mackanno]

Once you are on you fourth day, you can start adding one more rep on each exercise. It works for me. . .

[AD69]

You forgot to say if you are an endo morph, ecto morph or xeno morph.

I'm xenomorph and this regime works. FACT.

[guru]

Hey guys & gals,

I'm gonna write an article on "How to spend quality time in gym". Here's the summary -

"On reaching the gym, make sure you spend at least 10 min. chatting with the receptionist. Then go to the changing room. Remove your shirt & spend 5 minutes, flexing yourself in front of the mirror. There should be a couple of guys there. Spend time chatting with them about anything, till they finish their changing. You can then start changing. Make sure your gym clothes are loose fitting full sweatsuits though, no tanktops, no shorts.

When you're done changing, go to the cardio section, get onto a treadmill & start walking, but don't increase the speed past 3 kmph. While walking, wave to the trainers & ask them to come over. Chat with them while you're walking. After 15 min. walking, you can run for 5 mi. @ 5-6 kmph. After that walk another 5 min. @ 2.5 kmph. You can then head for the weight section.

In the weight section, limit yourself to the following machines -

curling station
tricep extension station
leg adductor / abductor station
pec flyes station
leg extension m/c.
lat pulldown.

However, make sure you do only one muscle a day, biceps one day, triceps another, chest on the third etc. Stay away from the compound exrecises - don't even do a leg press.

Finally, never attempt to do squats or deadlifts, not even on the smith machine. They will kill your back & knees."

Hey, I bet all of you would be dying to read the full article. Don't worry, I'll post a link as soon as it gets published.

- Guru

[SardusPater]

Here is a good cardio workout that works for me:
1. do a set of ten bicep curls in the squat rack
2. Run to the mirror and flex
3. Run back to the squat rack, do another set of curls
4. Run back to the mirror and flex.

Repeat as necessary. Also make sure you drink your special K protein water, i i gain 20lbs of muscle with that stuff.

I experimented for a while with this routine, and i found that kissing your biceps when you are flexing actually increases your gains!

[danmarmu]

Here is a good cardio workout that works for me:
1. do a set of ten bicep curls in the squat rack
2. Run to the mirror and flex
3. Run back to the squat rack, do another set of curls
4. Run back to the mirror and flex.

Repeat as necessary. Also make sure you drink your special K protein water, i i gain 20lbs of muscle with that stuff.

I experimented for a while with this routine, and i found that kissing your biceps when you are flexing actually increases your gains!

One more thing that is incredibly important. Make sure you flex when there is a cute girl around, makes you flex even harder and that will make the blood rush in even faster thus augmenting your gains.

[felch686]

Hey guys & gals,

I'm gonna write an article on "How to spend quality time in gym". Here's the summary -

"On reaching the gym, make sure you spend at least 10 min. chatting with the receptionist. Then go to the changing room. Remove your shirt & spend 5 minutes, flexing yourself in front of the mirror. There should be a couple of guys there. Spend time chatting with them about anything, till they finish their changing. You can then start changing. Make sure your gym clothes are loose fitting full sweatsuits though, no tanktops, no shorts.

- Guru

Yeah, talking is definitely the key. How else are you gonna burn enough calories doing isolation exercises?!

[BassJunkie]

I can't believe you missed out jaw-curls and ear-shrugs!!

Jeez, sort your routine out or you'll never get that fat out of your head.

[ryanflyer05]

Bowflex 5x5 for the win.