Advice and urgent help needed

[Mouse]

I want to gain 20kg of muscle and reduce my bodyfat from 25% to 6% in 1 week.

I plan to add 2 hours cardio before and after each workout, drop squats for wrist curls and change the 5x5 to 8x7 but do the workout 5 times a week.
(My left ear feels a bit sore when I squat)

I eat pizza twice a day (pepperoni - that's protein right?) and drink 8 protein shakes every other hour, but always skip breakfast as I don't think it is good for me - I sometimes eat an egg yolk but never the whites.

I want to find my 1 rep max for deads and then use this to do my 8x7 - is this ok?

I saw Marius on youtube lifting 200kg on the OHP, would this be a good weight to start on?

But if any of the weights get to feel heavy I plan to give up and deload rather than work hard.

I have never lifted before and don't care about form (whatever that is) but want to look good this summer.

Advice appreciated on my diet and training plan .
(Please don't just say the 5x5 plan works and to leave it unchanged,
i've not really read it but don't think it would work for my body type)

By the way the guys at the gym say I could lift big with something like this routine.

Maybe some bicep curls as well?

[Mehdi]

I started lifting 2 weeks ago, here's my advice:
* Don't waste your time with squats. You already got soccer to work your legs anyway.
* Do high reps, like 20 reps, this will get your muscles more defined.
* Lots of crunches to lower your stomach fat.
* Get fat burners to lower your body fat faster.

[Young Athlete]

Remember if you do want leg work:

Squats are bad for you knees and back
Leg press is much better for you

[Mouse]

Thanks Mehdi, sounds like you've got some great experience.
If I wrap cling film around my waist when doing the high rep crunches, will that help with the spot fat reduction?

Young Athlete - not too fussed about training legs - I've heard skinny looking legs make your upper body look bigger. I think you shouldn't train them directly.

[Mehdi]

Thanks Mehdi, sounds like you've got some great experience.
If I wrap cling film around my waist when doing the high rep crunches, will that help with the spot fat reduction?

Yes, but make sure you squeeze your muslces at the top for extra tension of every crunch, that will get you real muscle development.

Young Athlete - not too fussed about training legs - I've heard skinny looking legs make your upper body look bigger. I think you shouldn't train them directly.

Myeah and you already use your bicycle to work anyway Mouse, so you're getting extra leg work there.

[Mouse]

Thought about buying one of these.

It says get abs in 6 seconds, but I think if I use the clingfilm, and with your suggestion of squeezing the muscles at the top for extra tension, I could do the workout in 3 seconds and get better results.

Has anyone had similar results from this?

[Mehdi]

Thought about buying one of these.

It says get abs in 6 seconds, but I think if I use the clingfilm, and with your suggestion of squeezing the muscles at the top for extra tension, I could do the workout in 3 seconds and get better results.

Has anyone had similar results from this?

I've used that one. Lie back on the floor, press it against your stomach, crunch at the same time and hold at the top.

[Mouse]

This was taken this morning pre workout (above).

After my workout I had a couple of shakes and when I peeled off the clingfilm I took another photo (below)
Still some work to do though.

[mjh]

8x7?!?

Are you completely retarded? It's a well proven fact that 7x8 is the key to maximalisationism of muscletastic increasity.

In 7x8 is the Key to Maximalisationism of Muscleistic Increasity (Bell, Biv and DeVoe, 1990) it was proven that the submetaphoric heads of the inner, outer and sub-outer biceps are subjected to the greatest intensrification at levels of tenacitic contractionantion above 300 kilo-twats, which, as we know from Tenacitic Contractionantion Above 300 kilo-twats is Effective in the 6-8 rep Range (Emerson, Lake and Palmer, 1972), is effective in the 6-8 rep range, but only after the "Johan Bergmann effect" takes place, which for most ecentro-bicrotic men is around set 7.

I mean really, this elementary stuff if you've read Gunz! Gunz! Gunz! (Tony! Toni! Toné! et al, 1988), which I can so tell you haven't, noob.

[mjh]

fat-ass

[Young Athlete]

fat-ass

I believe mehdi said no leg work what the hell man

[baughmjk]

FINALLY some REAL working-out advice!!! I was getting SICK and TIRED of people telling me to go slowly. Here's irreffutable PROOF that you can go from ZERO to HERO in LESS than ONE WEEK!!! My life has NEVER BEEN BETTER since following the advice in this thread. Thank you all SO MUCH!!!

[Mouse]

8x7?!?

Are you completely retarded? It's a well proven fact that 7x8 is the key to maximalisationism of muscletastic increasity.

Yeah, sorry, but i'm only on day 1 and am totally new to this. I'll make sure I switch to 7x8 for tomorrows workout. Thanks for all your help though mjh, those vids were worth it to make sure i'm cranking the reps out right.

I believe mehdi said no leg work what the hell man

YA - can't understand it - I didn't do any leg work today, although I did carry a can of Dr.Pepper up a flight of stairs.

[Mehdi]

Yeah, sorry, but i'm only on day 1 and am totally new to this. I'll make sure I switch to 7x8 for tomorrows workout.

What do you mean tomorrow's workout? You need 2 sessions per day: am/pm, 5x/week.

[Mouse]

What do you mean tomorrow's workout? You need 2 sessions per day: am/pm, 5x/week.

Ok, didn't realise that.
Should I still do my 2 hour pre and post workout cardio with my pm session?