Feeling Very Strange (related to AHW)

[mdonnelly]

Recently I have been having some very intense feelings regarding women. There is this particular women that I would say that I'm interested in, but the dynamic between us is somewhat awkward at this point. We'll say hi to each other and stuff like that, and we both work on the exec board for our organization, so we see each other all the time. I just don't know what to do about it.

Let me back up a little bit though. I first met her when our exec board went on a retreat before the semester started (I'm in college, btw) and I could see there was some initial interest. Eventually as the semester went on and progressed, we flirted more out in the open and one night, at a party, we actually ended up getting pretty touchy-feely with each other and slept in the same bed that night (no sex though, but it wasn't the right context for that). We kept up with the flirting and stuff, and Iast weekend I took her out on a very traditional "date" type scenario, movie and the whole bit. Now, the week after, the sparks seem to have subsided a little bit and she even invited some other dude over to her house to drink and watch tv right in front of me without asking me. Talk about a hit to the ego.

Now here's where the curve comes in. you see, I've subscribed to the Attract Hotter Women podcasts on recommendation of Mehdi, I've listened to all of them and I'm not going to lie, when I go out, I have been on fire. Like I'm in the club, and I'll have girls approach me out of the blue to dance and we'll get physical right there on the dance floor. I have to say that Brent's stuff is by far the most potent "pick-up" stuff in existence. I has put some of brent's ideas to practice on the particular girl (not really as "techniques" though), especially the not pursuing thing, and that's when things started falling apart between us. Now I'm not blaming Brent or any of the material on AHW, because I'm sure I made some kind of stupid move along the way. That's why I included the part about the date, because after listening to Brent's stuff, the whole date thing sounded like a bad idea from the start and even though we did get physical(mildly) during the date, I just felt really weird about it in general.

Also, on a side note, I have become somewhat of a practicer in the principle behind the Law of Attraction, and for the most part I have been making gratitude confirmations, affirmations, and visualization almost every day.

I don't know, what do you guys think I should do? Continue to try to get with this girl? Forget about her? Maybe try more of Brent's stuff with this particular situation?

[keyboardworkout]

Eject

It's always the safest thing to do.

[Mehdi]

Things are most likely awkward because she wondered what you were waiting for. Especially if she's interested and you get in situations like sleeping in the same bed without you doing anything. Girls who are interested in you are going to get really pissed if you have the opportunity to do something, but do nothing. She was probably thinking that you weren't interested or lacked confidence. You rarely get a 2nd chance, especially if it comes from lack of confidence. I mean, put yourself in her shoes, what did you need more?

Just like you have fear of approaching, you have fear of escalating. Maybe you start getting good at approaching women, and have them interested in you, but now you're scared of taking it to the next level because you don't want to mess the fact they're interested. When Brent says to not pursue, he doesn't mean you can't escalate. Yes some girls make the move, but if they don't and you think they want it, you've got to help them out getting what they want. "Are you into me or what's going on here?"

Nothing more you can do, especially not dating. Best thing is to completely forget about her and act as if nothing happened. Keep doing the inner work, it's more important than going out. And remember Brent's stuff is not something you do, it's not lame pickup, it's something you are. And it takes practice & persistence to get it.

[mdonnelly]

@kbworkout

Yeah, I somehow knew that all along, I just needed to hear it from someone else. Thanks man =)

@Mehdi

You hit the nail on the head bro. That makes so much sense. I especially relate to being afraid to escalate part. That is something that has been plaguing me for years. Yeah, I really appreciate it Mehdi, that cleared up a lot of things for me.

[JohnAnthny]

We kept up with the flirting and stuff, and Iast weekend I took her out on a very traditional "date" type scenario, movie and the whole bit. Now, the week after, the sparks seem to have subsided a little bit and she even invited some other dude over to her house to drink and watch tv right in front of me without asking me. Talk about a hit to the ego.

Soemthing doesnt feel right here. 'Traditional'? You mean you took her on a date (movies/dinner just like every other guy did.
Be original. Afterall she just wants a guy to come over and drink beer and watch TV with. Get to know her. Let her talk. Be spontaneous.

And the 'whole bit'..??
I get the impression you are trying too hard and subsequently she lost interest.

Medhi's right...you gotta close the deal. You should of asked for the cash so to speak. Get what you andher want when you had the chance.


If you want her. Make her feel good and compliment her. You are in control just be genuine.


Thanks SL's!

[mdonnelly]

We kept up with the flirting and stuff, and Iast weekend I took her out on a very traditional "date" type scenario, movie and the whole bit. Now, the week after, the sparks seem to have subsided a little bit and she even invited some other dude over to her house to drink and watch tv right in front of me without asking me. Talk about a hit to the ego.

Soemthing doesnt feel right here. 'Traditional'? You mean you took her on a date (movies/dinner just like every other guy did.
Be original. Afterall she just wants a guy to come over and drink beer and watch TV with. Get to know her. Let her talk. Be spontaneous.

And the 'whole bit'..??
I get the impression you are trying too hard and subsequently she lost interest.

Medhi's right...you gotta close the deal. You should of asked for the cash so to speak. Get what you andher want when you had the chance.


If you want her. Make her feel good and compliment her. You are in control just be genuine.


Thanks SL's!

haha, yeah I was a bit of a chode in the whole situation. And you are completely right, being real (most of all to yourself) is the most important thing in anyone's social life.

[TakeFive]

...and Iast weekend I took her out on a very traditional "date" type scenario, movie and the whole bit.

That tells me you are probably a decent guy who likes this girl, and treated her with the respect you would show towards someone you cared about.

On the other hand...

Now, the week after, the sparks seem to have subsided a little bit and she even invited some other dude over to her house to drink and watch tv right in front of me without asking me. Talk about a hit to the ego.

... she's not looking for that kind of relationship with you. Consider yourself lucky. For the price of dinner and a movie, you found out this gal has no romantic interest in you, and you got a peek at her character.

[Dangerface]

Being a woman, I gotta say mehdi is probably right. you had two opportunities to "seal the deal" and passed, she's probably thinking you're not into her. Two options, take her out for something different. no movie, and then ravage her, or if the respect holds you back or you feel the time is not right, tell her the whole I would love to, but (insert caring male statement). Or ditch her, if she's gonna get mad that you weren't in a rush then maybe she isn't feeling so good about herself and is that somewhere you really want to go.
I just gotta say though, if you follow the insert caring male statement you may end up being a joke over her and her friend's drinks. I am not trying to be mean I am just saying, the same kind of girl that will be upset that you didn't get her quick will also have a problem confusing respect and a decent guy with "he's a pu$$y".

[mdonnelly]

Being a woman, I gotta say mehdi is probably right. you had two opportunities to "seal the deal" and passed, she's probably thinking you're not into her. Two options, take her out for something different. no movie, and then ravage her, or if the respect holds you back or you feel the time is not right, tell her the whole I would love to, but (insert caring male statement). Or ditch her, if she's gonna get mad that you weren't in a rush then maybe she isn't feeling so good about herself and is that somewhere you really want to go.
I just gotta say though, if you follow the insert caring male statement you may end up being a joke over her and her friend's drinks. I am not trying to be mean I am just saying, the same kind of girl that will be upset that you didn't get her quick will also have a problem confusing respect and a decent guy with "he's a pu$$y".

Ok, well that sounds easy enough, but the execution is the probably the biggest sticking point for me. This happened to me again recently, I had a girl invite me over to her place and cook dinner for me (and she's one hell of a cook too). We watched a couple movies, and made out. But when I tried to take off her shirt, she remembered freaked out because she just remembered her old boyfriend who turned gay on her (I can't make this shit up). What do I do in that situation? I mean, I'm all for ravaging, but c'mon let's face it, there are lines that have to be drawn somewhere.

[Mehdi]

You leave.

[Gringo]

...& tell her that she shouldn't worry, that your fine with her troubles.

[TakeFive]

.... freaked out because she just remembered her old boyfriend who turned gay on her...

And then you jumped up, screamed like a girl, and said "Oh my God! You've done it to me too! Now I'm going to have to learn to rollerblade and pee sitting down!"

That's what you told her, right? Right?

Sounds like she didn't want to move that fast, or was having buyers remorse. If she calls in a few days, there might be something there. Otherwise, move on.

And thanks for sharing.

[mdonnelly]

You leave.

Alright case closed