guy hitting on my GF

[Warren]

I think there has recently become a market for this kind of business. I loved the older generation when you would meet a girl at a dance or some such. You would just walk right up to her in your tux and she'd be in her lovely cocktail dress. This is how my grandparents met. Old fashioned, bold, brave. I reckon underlying a lot of the "game" material that has cropped up during the last 5 years there are still the same underlying values of playing the male role, leading the women and not being scared or showing any kind of weakness. There is a lot of other "manipulation" stuff in there which I don't really agree with and I think is just there to appeal to the market and make money. There's some solid advice in there though so check it out.

When did men lose their balls?

[Young Athlete]

It's always been this way, there has always been the alpha, and his circle, then there followers.

Middle ages=King,Prince,Queen,Princess
Sled Dogs=Leader, then the rest in order
Gorilla= Alpha, Alphas friends, the rest

I have found if your looking for someone to model yourself off of, watch the old james bond movies, look at how he always controls the situation and never loses his cool. This is why he is so appealing, cool, calm, incontrol, and he is always dominant, everyone around him can tell he is a leader. Personally a few years ago, I had about 1-3 of the hottest girls in my grade liking me at all times. I also, skinny, weak, controlled the top guys in my grade. I later found out this wasn't the way to go, I quit caring and lost almost all of my friends until 8th grade, mid way through people started calling me, not the same group but they were fun. I enjoyed this, and still ended up attracting a girl i would classify as an 8, my last girl friends, but we saw where that went down hill. After this break up, i was left confused i had done exactly what every guy would do, I EVEN MADE HER A PICNIC! You want to know what i did wrong, I quit being decisive, I was to eager to be with her, I would make time just to be with her. She ended up getting bored, and obviously was still very immature afterward trying to hit on new friends i just made, they turned her down. Now, I'm having some fun, with friends who can drive, chilling with people everyday at hockey, afterward staying out to curfew with friends. Oh, I'm still some how the alpha, hell I sometimes just go sit in a corner close my eyes and listen to music, no one minds me, last time i did this, all the sudden listening to you ipod was the thing to do when i woke up. People, just because a slight difference in my taste of music everyone was all over it, I had 3-4 girls wanting to listen, they all were interested.... My point is even if not written well into this paragraph, it's an aura you put off and you can pick up any girl you want, you just need to believe in yourself. There is a guy who i have seen on forums who is actually one of the most interesting teachers on the subject, his name is mankite find him if you can read his posts when you figure them out it'll be like a smack in the face.

[Trent]

Young Athlete,

Your examples are awesome -

Royalty: Where the individuals were born to a position as opposed to obtaining it - google 'king maker'
Sled Dog: Its an animal that regularly sniffs other dogs butts.
Gorilla: Its a pack animal that picks lice of its mate as a sign of affection.

But besides my inssessant need to be pedantic about your examples (awesome!), I think that as you get older you will begin to appreciate that manipulating people and being deceptive about the type of person is shallow (at least in my opinion). Be interesting, be outgoing, be yourself - but if you rely on tricks and gambits to get attention and dont have anything of substance behind it, your popularity will be short lived - at least when you get out of school and into more mature relationships.

If thats what you want of course.

I think a better way to go is what Medhi suggested - become a better person, get some depth and character, focus on building people skills then you wont have to rely on silly little tricks to get a girls attention.

As for the guy who felt the need to intimidate the guy who hit on his girlfriend - really ?

If you aren't insecure about your girlfriend's attention wandering you need to become a little more secure in your own worth and tone your ego down.

[Liv92]

My man Young Athlete is a lil playa, haha.

He's right though. You can't chase girls around. Be yourself, be chill, and they will come to you. You have to be outgoing also though. Can't shy away and not do anything, just gotta be out there but at the same time not really. It's hard to explain... If you dress nice, take care of yourself, exercise ect... and be yourself, you will get noticed. I've recently "discovered" this if you can say that a few months ago, I guess some people pick it up faster then others. It's a great feeling having girls you never thought would be giving you those "looks."

I still got work to do. (need to work on being more outgoing)

This really didn't have anything to do with the OT, but I just felt like putting it out there.


P.s. If someone is not interested, let it go. There is always someone just as good that will be.

[Young Athlete]

So... I got a tougher cookie to crack... Really, Very beautiIful girl.... How can i play it out, well first i found that she is shy, used it teased her about some arm movements she made now were hanging out sunday...

[Liv92]

That's it dude, you basically got her. Be smooth and she's gonna be yours. Treat her nice, don't over do it on the flirting, and make her laugh. It will be all yours by the end of the day.

[Steel]

You're 30y old, so I'm sure your old enough to handle some constructive feedback. This is just my opinion based on my own experiences, so take it for what it's worth.

I feel you showed that you cared by reacting like that. And you showed insecurity. Somebody who is confident doesn't care about this kind of stuff. Realize girls are hit on all the time, especially if they're attractive. She was alone at a barbecue, if she looks good she will be approached. Consider it a compliment for you, since you're with the girl. If you can't handle being with an attractive girl that is hit on all the time, then you got a problem.

You can't control other people. Your gf needs to take care of the situation, not you. If she gets involved with the other guy, then she doesn't deserve you and you should break up with her. Any other kind of reaction is just a waste of time & energy.

I have to disagree. It's one thing about being nonchalant about other guys hitting on your girl, but it's another thing when you don't respond to it EVER. Girls don't want a completely non-jealous guy just the same as they don't want the guy that flys off the handle when another guy so much as looks at them.

Sure a girl gets hit on all the time. Most guys will catch the hint if she lets them know that she's taken and not interested, or if her boyfriend makes it known that she's taken. Act cool, natural, all taht and stuff will be fine. When you have these little-shit worms that don't give up, then it's ok to be a bit territorial. If you don't then you display to her that you don't care if she goes running off with some other dude. Don't come crying when she does. Guess what, chicks WANT to have a guy that protects them, at least a little. I don't see it as a sign of insecurity at all. In fact, I would even go so far to say that any guy that claims he has not a jealous bone in his body is full of crap and is the insecure one. As an example, my best friend claims this tripe, yet he was the one causing misery with his jealousy to a mutual (girl) friend of ours that he had a crush on but she didn't feel the same way. He would take every small tiny thing that she did as a personal affront to him. And now they're not friends anymore. Mr. "I never get jealous" my ass. I used to claim this same thing too, because I thought it's what girls wanted to hear, after listening to their stories of their ex's or current boyfreinds who get soooo jealous all the time. But after a while, I found (and a few really honest friends) admitted to me that its NOT what they want. That will put you in the 'friend zone' pretty quickly; She'll either think he's full-o-crap or she'll think "Oh, he never gets jealous? Maybe he just meant with me..." you know.

Anyway to try to put a point to my rambling, being a bit jealous or protective or territorial is not a bad thing when done in moderation and done properly. This means not to try to kill every guy that gets within 100 feet of your girl, but at the same time this also means not to just laugh off the guy with his hands up your girls shirt...

[pagangoddess]

Sure a girl gets hit on all the time. Most guys will catch the hint if she lets them know that she's taken and not interested, or if her boyfriend makes it known that she's taken. Act cool, natural, all taht and stuff will be fine. When you have these little-shit worms that don't give up, then it's ok to be a bit territorial.

IMO it's NEVER ok to be territorial. Being in a relationship does in no way imply ownership.

If you don't then you display to her that you don't care if she goes running off with some other dude. Don't come crying when she does. Guess what, chicks WANT to have a guy that protects them, at least a little.

Every woman I have met that actually wants to be protected by a man has been emotionally needy and insecure. Both of which will suck the life out of a relationship. Either that or they were young and naive. If I wanted protection I'd buy a gun. Thanks for the gesture however I can take care of myself.

Anyway to try to put a point to my rambling, being a bit jealous or protective or territorial is not a bad thing when done in moderation and done properly. This means not to try to kill every guy that gets within 100 feet of your girl, but at the same time this also means not to just laugh off the guy with his hands up your girls shirt...

If another guy's hand is up her shirt then your problem is with her not the other guy.

[Steel]

IMO it's NEVER ok to be territorial. Being in a relationship does in no way imply ownership.

Didn't mean to imply ownership.

Every woman I have met that actually wants to be protected by a man has been emotionally needy and insecure. Both of which will suck the life out of a relationship. Either that or they were young and naive. If I wanted protection I'd buy a gun. Thanks for the gesture however I can take care of myself.

Hey if you like pushovers, that's your bag. I'm not saying that a woman can't take care of herself, but I'd sure she be disappointed if her SO just backed down from even the smallest confrontation. I know I sure would be disappointed in my girl if she was a pushover as well.

If another guy's hand is up her shirt then your problem is with her not the other guy.

Not neccisarily. I suppose you've never had the misfortune of dealing with a super creeper that likes to cop a feel on chicks in a club or bar.

[pagangoddess]

Hey if you like pushovers, that's your bag. I'm not saying that a woman can't take care of herself, but I'd sure she be disappointed if her SO just backed down from even the smallest confrontation. I know I sure would be disappointed in my girl if she was a pushover as well.

I don't think this conversation is about pushovers unless I'm not understanding something. If someone wasn't leaving me alone and hubby comes along and gets all caveman on me, I'd be pissed. The reason why is he needs to trust me to handle situations on my own and to step in when not asked sends the message he doesn't think I'm capable of handling myself as a grown adult.

Not neccisarily. I suppose you've never had the misfortune of dealing with a super creeper that likes to cop a feel on chicks in a club or bar.

I find the best way to avoid creeps is to not go where they hang out. There are plenty of other social outlets besides clubs or bars.

[Steel]

I don't think this conversation is about pushovers unless I'm not understanding something. If someone wasn't leaving me alone and hubby comes along and gets all caveman on me, I'd be pissed. The reason why is he needs to trust me to handle situations on my own and to step in when not asked sends the message he doesn't think I'm capable of handling myself as a grown adult.

Im sure you can, as can most women. If she's handling herself fine then I'm more than happy to sit back and laugh a the dude. I already specified that NOT flying off the handle is a desireable trait as well.

I find the best way to avoid creeps is to not go where they hang out. There are plenty of other social outlets besides clubs or bars.

Perhaps, but that's going beyond the scope of my response and not really the point.

[Rugger]

If I wanted protection I'd buy a gun.

Respect.

[pagangoddess]

If I wanted protection I'd buy a gun.

Respect.

As you can see this topic get me pretty riled up. I can't stand the attitude that because I'm a woman I can't take care of myself and need to be "protected". What a load of bull shit.

Ok, I'm done ranting . . .. . for now.

[tris27]

Sure a girl gets hit on all the time. Most guys will catch the hint if she lets them know that she's taken and not interested, or if her boyfriend makes it known that she's taken. Act cool, natural, all taht and stuff will be fine. When you have these little-shit worms that don't give up, then it's ok to be a bit territorial.

IMO it's NEVER ok to be territorial. Being in a relationship does in no way imply ownership.

If you don't then you display to her that you don't care if she goes running off with some other dude. Don't come crying when she does. Guess what, chicks WANT to have a guy that protects them, at least a little.

Every woman I have met that actually wants to be protected by a man has been emotionally needy and insecure. Both of which will suck the life out of a relationship. Either that or they were young and naive. If I wanted protection I'd buy a gun. Thanks for the gesture however I can take care of myself.

Anyway to try to put a point to my rambling, being a bit jealous or protective or territorial is not a bad thing when done in moderation and done properly. This means not to try to kill every guy that gets within 100 feet of your girl, but at the same time this also means not to just laugh off the guy with his hands up your girls shirt...

If another guy's hand is up her shirt then your problem is with her not the other guy.

I agree, every one of those would show a problem or insecurity with the girl. I think confronting the situation would just show insecurity, and as most guys aren't attracted to insecure girls, why would girls be attracted to insecure guys?