is the answer to our problems within?

[markg]

Good point Mehdi, understood.

I think the point underlying what I was trying to say is that a situation you find yourself in cannot make you unhappy or miserable unless you choose to let it. Within reason it is possible to choose how you act and react in any given situation and if you go along with someone else's request, and then are determined to be unhappy and not enjoy it because of your preconceptions of that activity, you will be unhappy. Your reality becomes what you think, as you put it.

On the other hand, if you agree you do something but decide to enjoy it anyway, since you're there, you can do so. A situation is only a sacrifice if you choose to see it that way. It could just be an unexpected treat, depending upon your disposition during the 'family visit' or whatever. You could get something really positive from the visit that you couldn't have forseen, like a job offer, gift etc. The chances of a positive outcome would be reduced if you went with the negative attitude.

With the sex example, if you have fostered an attitude where you 'don't care what happens' you wouldn't be pissed about the refusal, you would just take the opportunity to get extra sleep instead or do something else. It's not the end of the world and could be an opportunity if you choose to see it that way. Maybe you go downstairs and call up an old friend for a chat, which you wouldn't have done otherwise and that has a great outcome, even if you just make each other laugh for a while.

[lovestolift]

One of the biggest problems with "Chick-Flicks" is that they show a completely unrealistic depiction of relationships. Your GF/wife sees this and expects you to live up to the perfect boyfriend/ husband role, which you will inevitably not be able to. Some of the worst dates I've been on were ones in which we watched a chick-flick. At the point in the movie where the guy is doing the formulaic-crazy-romantic-embarrassing-gesture-to-win-the-girl's-heart, you can see your GF/wife wondering why you don't break into song in front of her friends (okay, maybe not, but you see my point). Even the part where the guy is "being a jerk" is unrealistic. He's not really that bad, it's always some misunderstanding.

Sorry for my vitriolic reivew of these movies, but I once sat through "27 Dresses." No sex is worth that.

[pookle]

chick flix suck!

[Jerzi78]

haven't been able to check up been eating like crazy

thanks a lot for all your insight it's helpful. one thing though about sitting on the computer... i just like being alone. i like weight lifting and swimming, and golf. but i like to even play golf alone. being around other people isn't "for me" really. i say this is "good" because, like pook describes, the "nice guy" will go out and do things for the GIRL, like watch chick flicks, and go get drunk and dance. even if he doesn't like these activities, he does them anyways to make girls happy. i don't like doing these activities, and yes i've tried, but when i hear the word "fun" the first thing on my mind is going to the pool and swimming by MYSELF, the last thing is going to a party and grinding with chix.

and so i thought, obviously me not being a "sexualized being," maybe if i did get "huge" that i would have these urges to go out and have fun with other people. Even pook said that before he would feel happy sitting behind his computer, but after getting big he no longer feels comfortable there, he just wants to go out and play ball.

that's why pook's writing somewhat excites me, but i can't see why people like Jerzi get very defensive at posts like this while it actually makes me happy. Jerzi are you a skinny guy like me?

I'm not getting defensive pookie, I'm just saying you don't need to be a big guy to have any kind of girls attracted to you.
I just don't like the social conditioned society that thinks "I need to have the physique of Atlas" or using The Game/Mystery Method to attain any type of self confidence. I believe doing this gives you a false sense of confidence and in no way changes the person who you are even if you think it does. If you don't want to talk to me because I don't posses this then I'm better of without even knowing you.

At 19 years of age I was 6'1 at 138lbs and 190lbs at 23 from working out. Did it change my confidence level or my attractiveness to the opposite sex who were actually real to who they were, No.

I honestly don't want girls who base their attraction off of the size of a guys muscular build or the ones who drop to their knees because you're a rock star. I've seen many girls and guys date and get married for these types of attributes and I can tell you they aren't honestly happy.

I lift for me and only me, I could care less what other socially conditioned aspects go along with it.


I also have to completely disagree with not doing something you don't like to do for someone else you care for.
When you find someone you really care for the chick flick or dancing won't even be an issue, you'll just enjoy being around the person.
I mean it's sorta like your girlfriend gets real sick and winds up in the hospital, but you don't like going to hospitals, Do you not go to see her?
At what point can you give a little of yourself for someone else?

[pookle]

that's interesting, so you saw no difference, while the original poster saw a world of difference...

so either pook is lying, pook got "lucky," there is another element to "testosteronize" yourself (aka pook got "lucky"), or the whole idea of "testosteronizing" yourself is dumb and this thread should go away

there are other things to consider too... like type of training, rest, and diet...

anyways thanks for your view

[BLUEBLAH]

I had a different experience to Jerzi78.

When I was at University, I was very skinny. When I started working out and improved my body, I found girls did find me more attractive. I also found I had more confidence with the opposite sex, so it did change me to a degree.

But this is all relative. You can't just sit back and wait for girls to come to you. You still have to work on yourself and improve non physical aspects, such as being sociable, pleasant, interesting etc.

[Mehdi]

Good point Mehdi, understood.

I think the point underlying what I was trying to say is that a situation you find yourself in cannot make you unhappy or miserable unless you choose to let it. Within reason it is possible to choose how you act and react in any given situation and if you go along with someone else's request, and then are determined to be unhappy and not enjoy it because of your preconceptions of that activity, you will be unhappy. Your reality becomes what you think, as you put it.

On the other hand, if you agree you do something but decide to enjoy it anyway, since you're there, you can do so. A situation is only a sacrifice if you choose to see it that way. It could just be an unexpected treat, depending upon your disposition during the 'family visit' or whatever. You could get something really positive from the visit that you couldn't have forseen, like a job offer, gift etc. The chances of a positive outcome would be reduced if you went with the negative attitude.

With the sex example, if you have fostered an attitude where you 'don't care what happens' you wouldn't be pissed about the refusal, you would just take the opportunity to get extra sleep instead or do something else. It's not the end of the world and could be an opportunity if you choose to see it that way. Maybe you go downstairs and call up an old friend for a chat, which you wouldn't have done otherwise and that has a great outcome, even if you just make each other laugh for a while.

There's a lot of stuff here markg, we need a bar to discuss this

[Mehdi]

One of the biggest problems with "Chick-Flicks" is that they show a completely unrealistic depiction of relationships. Your GF/wife sees this and expects you to live up to the perfect boyfriend/ husband role, which you will inevitably not be able to. Some of the worst dates I've been on were ones in which we watched a chick-flick. At the point in the movie where the guy is doing the formulaic-crazy-romantic-embarrassing-gesture-to-win-the-girl's-heart, you can see your GF/wife wondering why you don't break into song in front of her friends (okay, maybe not, but you see my point). Even the part where the guy is "being a jerk" is unrealistic. He's not really that bad, it's always some misunderstanding.

Sorry for my vitriolic reivew of these movies, but I once sat through "27 Dresses." No sex is worth that.

That's why I don't watch "chick flicks" or TV or news: it's all brainwashing. You can't read books on personal development to unlearn all that social conditioning you want to get rid off, if you're still getting influenced by those things.

Maybe not a big deal for others, but I really get sick and feel like wasting my life going through that kind of movies.

[Mehdi]

I also have to completely disagree with not doing something you don't like to do for someone else you care for.
When you find someone you really care for the chick flick or dancing won't even be an issue, you'll just enjoy being around the person.
I mean it's sorta like your girlfriend gets real sick and winds up in the hospital, but you don't like going to hospitals, Do you not go to see her?
At what point can you give a little of yourself for someone else?

Of course you should go. You're taking this to extremes. Get more in the center. I posted some links, read/listen to it, you'll get better examples.

[markg]

There's a lot of stuff here markg, we need a bar to discuss this

OK Mehdi. If you're ever in the area drop me a line. I know some bars...

[Jerzi78]

that's interesting, so you saw no difference, while the original poster saw a world of difference...

so either pook is lying, pook got "lucky," there is another element to "testosteronize" yourself (aka pook got "lucky"), or the whole idea of "testosteronizing" yourself is dumb and this thread should go away

there are other things to consider too... like type of training, rest, and diet...

anyways thanks for your view

Pook when he was skinny


I have problems talking to women, not because I am scared or boring, but because I sense the women think I am ‘below’ them. And the truth is that they do.


Pook when he was big

Let me give you some examples. One Very Beautiful girl was in several of my classes. I start talking to her and she has plenty of time to leave. But she doesn’t… she stays to keep talking to me. The girls now notice me, but are a bit scared to talk and act around me.


"They are scared to talk and act around me", it's because they are not being themselves. They have self confidence issues the same as pook did when he was skinny.

Pook started opening his mouth when he started getting bigger, put himself into the center, this is what was holding him back not the fact that he was a skinny guy.
Pook had it all along, was just scared to use it.

I've known huge girls to pull muscular dudes/ roid freaks and skinny short guys pull amazingly attractive girls, because they had the self confidence to do so, not because they worked out and based it all on the way they physically appeared to someone.


If you just want to go slay some dragons and it will make it easier for you, go for it.

[pookle]

i dunno... "pook" claims that he was "doing nothing" to attract these girls, just standing there. it was just his body alone. he said he tried an experiment: ignore and eliminate all women from his life and try to get big. at first it was the same, but as he got bigger, they would pester him. he would still try to avoid them, but they would follow him around and stuff. they would always try to talk about sex, and ask him if he was gay, yet he was still ignoring them. he says he wasn't doing anything different.

[Mehdi]

i dunno... "pook" claims that he was "doing nothing" to attract these girls, just standing there. it was just his body alone. he said he tried an experiment: ignore and eliminate all women from his life and try to get big. at first it was the same, but as he got bigger, they would pester him. he would still try to avoid them, but they would follow him around and stuff. they would always try to talk about sex, and ask him if he was gay, yet he was still ignoring them. he says he wasn't doing anything different.

It has nothing to do with looks, but with your energy. Not saying that people might not get attracted by your looks, but there's more to it than that.

Remember: you get bored of looks after a while. That super hot girl you want: you won't pay attention to her looks after a while. The only thing that remains over time is her personality. I touched on this subject in this post: less attractive girls can become more attractive over time because they have great personalities. hot girls can become less attractive because they have shitty personalities. Same principles goes for you: maybe looks will get you more approaches/more initial success and if it does, I think it has to do with increased self-confidence. But in the long-term it's your personality that will keep her attracted.

* self-confidence
* humor
* challenging
* not needy
* courageous
* backbone
* great in bed
* etc

[pookle]

Mehdi, its like were writing the secret of the jerk all over again!

Oh, there she is! The beautiful woman! The ornament of the world! The dream in flesh! She stands aloof on the platform and says, "Gentlemen! How are you to win me?"

And around the platform, a thousand mouths cry:

"Confidence."
"Humor."
"Patterns."
"Kino."
"Chocolate."
"Poetry."
"By ignoring you."
"By totally focusing on you."
"Puffed muscles."
"Flowers."
"Spikey hair."
"Endless gifts."
"Mirroring."
"Leather jackets."
"Eliciting values."
"Sparkly clothes."
"Bouncy personality."
"Romance."
"Dinner. Lobster!"
"Compliments."
"Guitar songs."

And she laughs only to say, "These are very well and good, gentlemen. But are you not aware that imitation is suicide? You forget that confidence is experience, that puffed muscles are not to be a masculine dress, that any guy can buy me lobster, and that countless many can sing the guitar songs. Are you so unaware of what I need?"

...

And then a golden arrow shaft of voice pierced the confusion, penetrated deep within the truth, spread those warm gooey moans of ecstasy throughout, and made her come with such surprising clarity that she screams in delight. For the voice said,

"Extreme masculinity!"

"Oh Pook!" she smiled in radiance. "How right you are!" And all the guys' mouths turn into a big O as the beautiful woman ran off the platform into the arms of Pook.

i agree its not the looks, its the energy. maybe the energy IS the testosterone.

like pook said, the testosterone will give you confidence, humor, etc. the guys who have to get testosterone injected into their body because of diseases or something experience these changes. they gain a lot of muscular bodyweight, become more active, better to be around, etc. when they are off the testosterone they shrink and become more sedentary and boring.

the secret of the jerk post stands alone fine but even more interesting are the follow up posts to it. pook posted multiple times in that thread and the more i read the more i am convinced that he is right.. the "secret" is testosterone and we just need to learn to utilize it

there are huge guys who do not get girls. girls do not find them attractive at all. but what do these guys eat? how much do they drink? maybe there are the genetically gifted guys who can still maintain a good physique on M&M's and ice cream, but they still dont have high levels of testosterone... maybe if they would start eating a ton of lean meats and sleep 8 hours a day they would get more attention.

i don't know for sure.


one thing that i think i need to fix is sleep. pook says getting 8 hours of solid, uninterrupted sleep is important, but i can never do this. no matter how little i drink, or if i go to the bathroom before, i always wake up to go to the bathroom.

[Mouse]

There's a lot of stuff here markg, we need a bar to discuss this

Did someone say bar?
Is it guinness time already? - much better than a protein shake