Jokes!

[yokoshiogatame]

I'm assuming there isn't a jokes page yet, lets cheer ourselves up with a few laughs.
 
I'll go first, this actually occured while I was driving my son to school, he must've heard it somewhere, I nearly crashed laughing.
1.
Son:  dad, dad, I've just seen a magic tractor.
 Dad:  oh yeah?
Son:  yeah, it just went down the road and turned into a field.
 
2.
What's white and can't climb trees?
a fridge.
 
Ooh these are awful 

[mackanno]

I read this one and really liked it.
There was this blond on a plane sitting next to a top noch lawyer. The lawyer decided to have fun with her so he tells her "hey, let's play a question game, if the other doesn't know the answer  the one asking will get $5, ready?" The blond was in no mood and responded: "thanks but I'd rather sleep". The lawyer, insisted and better the offer "OK, if you don't know the answer you give $5, if I don't know the answer to your question I'll give you $500"
The blonde knew the lawyer would not stop bugging her so she replied: "OK, OK, ask me first". The lawyer asked: "what's the distance between the Mooon and the Earth?" "I have no idea" the blonde replied quickly, handed him $5, and said, "now my turn, what has three legs when climbs a mountain and only two when it descends?" The Lawyer was clueless and while the blonde turned to the other side to sleep he started googling the question, calling friends, even asking other passengers with no luck. Finally, after a couple of hours the lawyer woke the blonde up and told her he didn't know handling her the agreed $500. For a couple of minutes the lawyer sat there, puzzled while the blonde went back to sleep, until he decided to find out the answer so he woke the blonde up again and asked her: "OK, please, tell me what has three legs when climbs a mountain and only two when it descends?"
The blonde answered "I have no idea" and handed him $5.
The end.
 

[helm]

„Hit me please,“ said the masochist to the sadist.

„No,“ said the sadist to the masochist, enjoying it.

„Thank you so much,“ said the masochist.

[johnnyo]

A man kept hitting his head against a wall, when asked why he continues to hit himself he says "because it feels so good when I stop"