Please help I keep f***ing up

[Tmv]

First of all can someone link me to where I can get the book "the secret" and "awareness" and anything else that you guys recommend.

Anyway there's this girl that works next to me, only girl I get that feeling like 'she's the one'. Anyway first time I ever talked to her we talked for about a hour ( she wasn't busy ) talked about stuff like 'where r u from...' 'school' some other small topics around that... She seemed to smile a lot so I was like yes! I only see her on wednsdays so I talked to her next Wednesday and we only seemed to talk for about 30 mind before I ran out of stuff to talk about so I walked away. And the thing is I like her so much I get really nervous when I talk to her now and this doesn't happen to any other girls ( even reallly really fucking hot ones). And today I saw her again and brought up school again like an idiot and she gave me quick answer and it kinda just ended now I feel like my chances are done. Could it have been that she was a little busy at the time?

Btw I've read every single post in this social section and want to say thanks and I love u guys. You got me talking so much to girls, it seems like girls are kind of obsessed about me BUT I want that girl!
Anyway any advise is greatly appreciated

[keyboardworkout]

Many years ago there was this cute girl that sat in front of me in college algebra. I only saw her twice a week. I acted much the same way you did when I was around her. Our time was limited and I only got a chance to talk to her for about five minutes before and after class. I finally asked her out and we started dating. We ended up spending the next 8 years living together.

Looking back, I wish I would have taken a different class.

Just roll with it. You hardly know her and are claiming she is "the one".

[Tmv]

So u straight up asked her out? You regret it now is what ur saying?
She mentioned she has a boyfriend once when I told her I liked her ear rings she said he gave thm to her and the fact she has a bf makes me want her even more.

Edit: ah fuck, now that I think about it you may be right, just roll with it, it's just that I've never felt this way around any other girl, she seems mature, and it doesn't look like she would be. Maybe it's her cute face I keep thinking about.

[Tmv]

Edit 2: yea fuck it, I sucked it up and acted as natural as possible. She just genuely doesn't seem interested. Oh also before I went to talk to her a fucking blonde bombshell flight attendant approached me and stood next to me and we sparked up a conversation. But I can't fucking think when I'm around this other girl w/e I'm over it.

[Mehdi]

* You're anxious when being around her because you think "she's the one" and you want something from her.
* Now you're trying to get in her mind ("Could it have been that she was a little busy at the time? ") as a way to try to manipulate the situation so you get what you want.
* You're also analyzing the whole thing to find out how she feels about you, whether she's interested or not. This is risk-management, you fear fucking up, so you're doing this.

Stop wasting your time. The longer you wait to take things to the next level, the more it messes with you. Make the move.

And if that's a serious relationship she has, you should find yourself another girl. Don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you. 3 billions girls out there.

[Tmv]

Yea I really thought hard about that 3 billion girls out there thing.
But you say, stop wasting ur time make the move, what if she says umm no sorry, do I try again some other time?
This law of attraction thing is confusing me on this one, I am supposed to want her and not expect to get anything at the same time?

[Mehdi]

If she says no, you say ok cool find me when you do. You stay friendly, don't take it personally, act as if nothing happened, don't blame her, etc. And you don't try again. Unless she ends up changing her mind later, that's where it ends. And if she does change her mind: get to the point asap. No pursuing.

You can't use the law of attraction to control her. It's same thing I wrote above: you're looking for schemes/tricks to manipulate the situation so you get what you want. LoA is not something that you do, it's something you are. Example: wrong way is to try to attract opposite sex by playing tricks & games, which is what I feel you're doing. Right way is to assume you're attractive to opposite sex by just being. That's inner game work: removing all the negative beliefs, learning to think abundance instead of scarcity, not needing someone to be happy, etc.

[Tmv]

Yea I really need to educate myself in this area, I admit Im a complete amateur still. I really take everything that you say to heart because of the time you put into reading about all of this social stuff. and it's not that I personally know you, I just get a vibe or energy from you that you are recommending the right stuff, so once again thanks.

[Mehdi]

It's not just reading, you got to apply it. And the learning process never ends, you keep having new problems no matter how experienced you are. Some are high-quality problems, but still problems. You're welcome.

[Trifin]

She mentioned she has a boyfriend once when I told her I liked her ear rings she said he gave thm to her and the fact she has a bf makes me want her even more.

RED FLAG! Dude, let's get this straight: Women are extremely perceptive. If you're showing interest they know it. The fact that you told her you liked her earings made you come across as WAY TOO OBVIOUS and insecure, and it showed her that you lack confidence. She needs to be the one who's nervous around YOU. Not the other way around. You weren't enough of a challenge for her.

The thing for you to do would have been to ask her out the first day when she was smiling at you. That should have been your que. The important thing is for you to be straight up and honest from the get-go. Say something like, "hey, let's grab drink this weekend" or, "you like sushi? I know this great place...", etc...

BTW, get phrases like "she's the one" out of your vocabulary. That kind of thinking comes from watching Hollywood romantic comedies with idiots like Matthew Macconaughey in them, but doesn't work in the real world. Women will recognize this as phony because they watch all those movies more than you do (hopefully) and will think you're just quoting them. I'm sure there are thousands of women in this world with whom you could be happy. Your chances of meeting them may be slim, but they're out there nonetheless.

All that being said, the other guys are right. It's probably best if you move on. Read some of the other posts on "inner game". They will help you improve your confidence not only around women, but around people in general. Good luck...

[Tmv]

Damn triffin, that post hit me guide . Now that I look back at it that would have worked. oh well you live and you learn.
Btw that romantic movie part was funny cuz it's true in a way

[Tmv]

That post hot me good* (why is there no edit feature)

why are my chances of meeting a girl that will make me happy slim?

[Trifin]

That post hot me good* (why is there no edit feature)

why are my chances of meeting a girl that will make me happy slim?

because the world is a big place with over 6 billion people in it. that's why. finding someone with whom you have perfect chemistry is like findaing a needle in a haystack. I'm not saying it can't be done. I'm just saying it isn't easy.

the important thing is to be yourself, follow your instincts. Find out what it is you love more than anything else in the world, and spend your time doing that. When you get that worked out the whole relationship thing becomes a side issue. Women dig confidence. When they see a confident, successful guy who's comfortable in his own skin they'll gravitate towards that. You shouldn't have to try to GET someone to like you, and they shouldn't like you for what they can get out of you. That's why pick-up lines, flirting, "game" and all that stuff is bullshit. Be real. Be someone who people can depend on. Be a man of your word. Mean what you say, say what you mean. you get the point....All they other stuff will fall into place for you when you focus on YOU.

[Tmv]

Good points, thanks I'm gonna work on that

[Tmv]

Hey guys, I've been working on my inner game for a good month straight. I talked to her again full of confidence made eye contact with her. This time she didn't show me any eye contact AT ALL. Well it lasted a good minute, said bye and left. Not interested anymore or is she intimidated now after noticing my new confidence and amazing bod?