Thanks for all the tips. It should be a low-bar squat indeed. That was the first time I used that position, first time for hipdrive too. The reason why I did go so deep is because I have done that when I started with squats. I fell in to the "deeper is better" category. I'm pretty flexible so it was no problem at all to go down deep. I know I don't have to go so far down, it's just a bad habit that I'm trying to get rid off. Actually, that was the first time I also did squats without the pad they got, you know that thing you put around the bar to make it softer.
All the new "shit" was pretty hard to handle, on top of that, I got a genetic disease (Ehlers-Danlos syndrome), to be exact the Hypermobility one, there's a "bunch" of different symptoms/types. I'm not saying that to make you feel sorry for me, I can live a normal life and many people have much worse diseases or other stuff that effect them in a negative way. Anyway my EDS makes me more flexible than most people just at the get go, but if I would stretch and shit I would become made of "spaghetti". That's also the reason why I go so deep, as I said before, it's not a problem for me, it's actually much much harder not to do it. That's also the reason why I used the pad, with a high-bar position before, I couldn't handle the pain that came with the bar. Slowly I was learning my body to get used to the weight without the pad, I actually got really bad bruises without the pad. But then the moment came, I couldn't do the high-bar with the pad anymore, because the weight pressed "through" the bar. And that was only at 50kg, I realized that if I wanted to continue training I was bound to squat without a pad. Just after that, I got a really bad cold and other stuff, namely school was beginning to "fuck up" etc. It just wasn't the best time to be focusing on training, so I took a break. When I came back, fairly recently, I had done my research and found Rippetoe, and thought to give it a shoot. The low-bar also hurts (If I'm now using a low-bar, that seems pretty uncertain at the moment
), but not as nearly as much, why I don't know, that's just how my body works, one day it's my back, the day after my arm etc. With that I mean that I can have pains in one position so bad that I just want to quit, but just change it a bit, and all is ok. That's what happed to me when I switched from high-bar. So I was really happy, I had beaten my got damn EDS
Although my physiotherapist has told me not to do heavy weights (they always treats me like a porcelain vase, and I'm tiered of it), I did it and I still do. I told her, that I respected her opinion and that I realize that's her job, but that she didn't have my sickness, she had apparently never treated someone with EDS, no one had did that it seemed. I also said that EDS presents it self really different with each person who has it. Even tough my mom and me has the same type of EDS, we have completely different problems. Anyway, I told my physiotherapist that I at least wanted to try, that I didn't want to live all my life being afraid of trying new things. I rarely let my disease stop me and get in the way, and I was certainly not gonna change that without even tried training in this way. That I had my goals, I had my dreams and if this was a "mistake" as she said, well then that was mine to make. I only get older, with EDS that often means more pain. So if I would fuck up my body, well, then I just did it a bit sooner. I know that's a pretty strange and fucked up view of it, but that's how I felt at the time.
Now I sit here, I have less pain in my knees, in fact, my whole body feels better. Now that I think about it, I'm chocked. Well, okey, I still got my problems, but they are much better than before. I think more muscle for my body is good, to keep it more compact. A big problem for my is (that will become a has) that it take a lot of energy for my body to keep my straight, that puts a strain on my muscles, sometimes I get days when I'm so tired that the only thing I can do is to sleep and walk around like zombie, but the next day, I'm as fine as ever. It's like the feeling when you get really sick and don't have the energy to do anything, only in my case, it's over the next day. I think more muscle means more shit to keep my straight, which in return should mean less zombie days. As long as I get my body the right amount of energy from the food to keep it going, I only see good things ahead.
When I did that low-bar at the video (or whatever it was) without the pad, I felt so fucking proud. It was only 30kg, but before that the bar alone was hard as hell. Today I did 55kg without a problem. I feel awesome, I'm so fucking happy that I don't let other people choose for me. I give it a go, if it doesn't work out, well then at least I tried to follow my own goals and dreams. My disease has stopped me from many sports, even tough I tried really hard to get into them, it didn't work out. Now I have finally found a sport that dose work. It feels pretty much as when I got my first road bike and I got to ride in a peloton, and that would be an awesome feeling. I'm still a noob when it comes to lifting weights and I'm glad to have people like you helping me.
In the gym I feel equal to all other people. Even tough I may be weaker than you, that doesn't matter, we both are there for the same reason. To get stronger, bigger and healthier. That feeling is for me the best thing in the world. I love going to the gym. Now I don't really know why I wrote this, it just felt good to share a bit, and I guess to say to you all, take some chances in life. Yes it could go bad, but it could go really well also. Maybe you will sit there later, being and feeling better then ever, that's a price I'm willing to pay.
Now, just to sneak in a question. When you say push you're knees out, how do you mean? Do you mean \<--->/, the / is the knees. Like as if someone, when you squatted down, took there hands on your knees and pushed them away from each other like so \<---->/? Someone wrote that the back angle seems to be off for a low-bar squat, can someone show a picture how it would really look like if I did it right?
Also, I will try to get a hold of a camera, and make a new clip. And this time I will try to get a friend filming me, it feels like that would get the whole picture of my form better than my improvised platform for the cam.
But I did. These guys have been a great help and encouragement through some tough times for me and they probably don't even realize it. - Pagangoddess
That in it self is a big deal for me, to see what I really can do and don't let other people, my sickness get in the way of what I want. Many people where "against" me, they thought it would do more harm than good, I was convinced from the first week of the program that this was the thing for me. Now they praise me almost every day for my dedication. I no longer have pain in my knees or back, and I sleep so much better and feel much better about myself. I just so happy to have found this program, this has changed my life and will continue to do so. So even tough my physiotherapist thought that lifting heavy weights maybe weren't the best thing for me, I made my own research and I came out of it better than before. Once again, I'm happy that although I thought hard on her advise that I took my own way, at least testing it out, if I would have listed to her, I'm almost sure that I wouldn't feel this good right now. The lesson I learned from it? Although I have a lot of people around me who love me, support me in what I do, and just want to protect me, I myself must feel what's right for me, everyones different, so different people gets better in different ways, I'm just glad I found mine 
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