Comments on: More on Strength Training & Relationships

By: Alex

Alex — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 01:23:30 +0000

IMO if your partner really has a problem with your training, its probably not going to work as a long term relationship. Strength training is long term, I think most people who trains seriously know it will take years to reach goals. So if the relationship won’t work out long term, thats not so bad short term ones are more fun in my experience anyway.
Obviously it goes without saying never consider actually giving in to what he or she is saying about changing the training plan.

By: flupn

flupn — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 12:27:34 +0000

@NQ

Men with extremely low testosterone levels are a lot taller than the average man, testosterone supresses growth (height).

I support your opinion, however I do not think that fat% should matter all that much, as long as one is not overly fat.

There are of course a lot of social factors (fashion and etc.) but I believe certain traits are still mostly evolutionary. (muscled men, women with big breasts/hips,…)

By: NQ

NQ — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 20:15:15 +0000

That’s why I emphasised PHYSICALLY several times. PHYSICALLY. Not who is a nice person with a great sense of humour who you grow to love – but look at and find physically attractive. Being fat wasn’t (and still isn’t) physically attractive – money was. (and still is.) This kind of social evolution is very recent on our time line of existence. If you take two people, or a group of people and have to pick which one you find most attractive, whether male or female, you will naturally pick the one who offers the best genetic traits i.e. physically attractive. Studies that have been carried out accross a huge variety of cultures (and even on children from remote tribes who have had no influence from “cultural evolution”) all come to the same conclusion – that women are naturally, at least sub conciously if not conciously attracted to traits that convey higher testosterone levels like a strong physique with broad shoulders, thin waist, and a strong jaw and brow. Also height but that’s not effected by testosterone as far as I know.

By: Lucas

Lucas — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:19:15 +0000

NQ — what about the fact that what’s been considered “attractive” has changed over time? In the middle ages, fat was attractive. Being fat meant you were rich enough to sit on your ass while other people did your work for you. In the Renaissance, shapely ankles (whatever that means) were a big turn-on. Now, fat is not widely considered attractive (though there are some for whom it does the trick) and ankles are just the things that keep your feet from falling off your legs. The “evolution” theory of attraction sounds good, but there are tons of social factors that have a larger impact on determining who is considered “attractive” than the “can he kill a deer” consideration.

By: NQ

NQ — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:46:35 +0000

When I say muscles I’m not talking about a 300lb bodybuilder. What I mean is a muscular physique. We have 10s of thousands of years of instincts built into us which means we are preprogrammed to find certain physical traits attractive – For men… well I don’t really need to say what men find physically attractive in a women do I? – But they are signs of fertility. Same with women – instincivly they are most attracted (physically I mean) to someone who looks strong because as far as their instincts are concerned they look verile and like someone who can catch food and protect their family. Any woman who prefers weak looking or chubby guys to someone muscular must either have some wires crossed or be infertile because it spits in the face of everything logical about evolution and reproduction – and to clarify only talking physical attraction.

By: krets

krets — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:28:09 +0000

Mehdi: I agree they will adapt but I think it has to do more with how they feel about you as a person. If a woman loves you as a person she’ll accept a lot of stuff about you she might not necessarily like. From muscles to beer guts, women tend to be less visual creatures than men so they’ll overlook minor physical “imperfections” if they love who you are as a person.

By: Mehdi

Mehdi — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:17:32 +0000

@NQ & Krets.
I do agree that some women just don’t like muscles. However once they are with you for a long time enough, they will adapt & start to like it. And I’ve got the line “I feel protrected by you” before, so it might be something instinctive, don’t know.

@Pete
Totall agree on the “man” test. There’s that saying “They want you to change, but once you’ve changed the way they wanted to, they leave you. As long as they complain you’re good.”

By: krets

krets — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 13:57:44 +0000

NQ: That’s crap. A great number of the women I’ve known do not like muscles. They don’t like men who look frail either but muscles tend to be very low on the list of things that women like.

I think the bottom line here is that if you get into a relationship it should be with a person who accepts you for who you are. I would never stay with someone who started to try to dissuade me from participating in activities that I enjoy; weightlifting or otherwise. My big love is volleyball and strength training is something I do to help with my performance in that sport. If I’m going to get into a long term relationship with a woman she has to understand that I’m not going to be giving up volleyball completely. However, I am willing to compromise and miss a tournament here or there to accommodate things that she wants to do.

By: Wazzup

Wazzup — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 06:56:21 +0000

“She had her sleep, she’s happy.”

Actually I read yesterday that exactly that is supposed to make a woman happy… a good night rest (51%). After that came a good meal (18%) and sex (14%)

By: Pete

Pete — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 23:04:51 +0000

There are also two additional factors at play:

1. The “man test”

Women have an innate ability to try to mold you into something (at least that’s the rationalization they’ll give). I mostly see this as just nagging you with a potshot to try to test what your limits are. If you bend over backwards all the time, they’ll get bored with you and move on. This isn’t 100% cut and dry though you have to use your intuition to sense if they have a legitimate complaint or if they’re just testing you.

2. The “why do you work out?”

There are some people who actually believe that once you get an athletic body you don’t have to maintain it all the time. This is silly, it’s like a marathon runner breaking a 4 minute mile, calling it quits, and believing he can still run fast by sitting on his butt all day long. With a mentality like this, no wonder why most people who try to lose weight fail.

These days I just stomp complaints from the start by saying “I work out for long-term health reasons, like a cheap way of preventative medicine. Increased strength and a better body are just positive side-effects.” If they still somehow manage to ask me again I’ll avalanche them with a bunch of research about sedentary individuals vs active ones and the health benefits of weight training until they feel stupid for asking again.