And I'm not talking about crabmeat. I'm talking about those people eager to pull you back down into the barrel every time you try to improve yourself.
Crabs.
Threatened by your desire to change your life. Envious that you'd reach higher grounds than them. Fearful that they'd be left alone in their pathetic barrel.
The crab's natural habitat is usually your very own social circle - long-term friends, family members, colleagues. You can easily recognize the crab by its endless admonishing whenever you talk about your plans and goals.
Their point: you cannot do it - even though these opinionated know-it-alls rarely have any results to show for. Quick to criticize your diet, disrupt your training, and share "health advice". Meanwhile they're fat, skinny and out of shape.
I've said before that the biggest stumbling block is yourself - what you believe you can and cannot achieve. Napoleon Hill stressed in his bestseller Think & Grow Rich that self-confidence is vital to achieve your goal.
It is therefore crucial that you do not let these foolish crabs damage your confidence and cause you to doubt. And don't even try to convince them that you can do it - I assure you that will be a huge waste of your time.
After countless interactions with crabs over the past 15 years, I've developed a 3 step failproof method to deal with them that goes like this:
- Agree, but continue doing what you're doing
- Eliminate that person from your life
- Let your results do the talking
When I started lifting weights 11y ago, one of my friends that I knew since kindergarten, told me that I would'n stick with it. He was one of the guys with whom I started lifting and who quit after 3 months. Say that once I can take it. Say that over & over, you're becoming a problem. I stopped seeing him.
This is not about being right. This is about deciding what matters to you, doing what it takes and refusing distractions. Whether you like it or not, you are the sum of the 7 people you hang out with most. Like Stronglifts Member Jared once said, "If you want to fly with eagles, don't scratch with turkeys."
It can be a bummer discovering that you're surrounded by unsupportive crabs, but you can't make an omelet without breaking eggs. The good news is that there are plenty of guys who think right. It is your responsibility to start paying attention to them, and then reach out. The SL Community is a great start.
Either that or you stay in the barrel.
So true, not only for training, but life in general.
HATERS GONNA HATE
Right on brother. The crabs are around everyone. You got to get rid of the crabs if you want to be healthy and strong.
Love SL. I have kick a couple out my life. So true.
Great post Mehdi ! Keep up ! Love the new model of SL Blog.
Mehdi, this is quite inspirational. I enjoy reading this Messages when I get to work in the morning. Gets me going in a positive fashion. :-)
beautiful article. i remember you posted something like this a while back and i loved it. whenever i come across someone who puts me down for my diet, health conscious mind, exercise etc, i just let them talk, smile and think to myself “ah, pathetic crabs…no point getting into an argument with them. they are trying steal my happiness”.
So true. I domped the crabs 40 years or more ago. And, I found an entire new group of friends. Hard training like myself! And they’ve been my real friends for life. At my age, I look back on those crabs, many are dead and the rest are so pathetically out of shape and sick that they wish they were dead.
Keep on training! Make your own pathways. Great rewards are in store!
I once read a quote that has stayed with me ever since:
“Some people are best loved at a distance.”
great read. last year i had to ditch a few long-term friends of mine because they never stopped hating
“Be who you are and do as you feel, those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
Patrick’s comment is all I really needed to read!!!
Nice seeing this article reposted :)
Great article! I really deal with the issue a little more aggressively and tell people flat out that their negative opinion about what I do means nothing to me, and truly it does not. The only person I need to validate to is myself. I soak up info like a sponge from those are are willing to share in a respectable, educating way, but I could give two shits what someone thinks about what I am doing as long as I AM SATISFIED with what I am doing, and that it’s the right thing.
That applies to everything in life.The problem is that some of this people are close relatives of yours and you can´t just dump them…
Some people just try to steal your inner light
So true. I got rid of some crabs in my life recently. It was hard cause they were good friends but I have to say my life has improved now that they’re gone. I have a great supportive group of friends now and I haven’t looked back!
* Agree, but continue doing what you’re doing: righto!
* Eliminate that person from your life: funny and true!
* Let your results do the talking: Waiting…
Set your goals high in every endeavor you under take regardless of what others say. As long as you work hard, even if you fail to reach that goal you will make progress.
Great post, have read the Crabs story in a book before and it really is no true.
Ahh the crabs man. I will print this article out and cherish it.
I hear about this sort of thing a lot, but I haven’t had a single person do this to me since I adopted a healthier lifestyle. Everyone I know has been nothing but wildly supportive, and I have even inspired a few of my friends to follow my example.
Maybe I’m just lucky to have good people in my life. Or maybe I culled those negative people a long time ago, and thus only had awesome friends around when I made the change.
As some people noted this is not just about weight training but in life in general. Take me for an example I am in the process of buying my first house at age 27, to many I am being immature but to people outside my circle they are impressed how I know my stuff and understand the long term commitment. At the end its jealousy and insecurities from “crabs.”
There are so many crabs in my life! I don’t know anybody who wants to work as hard as I want to. I know a few, but they supplement their training with alcohol and smoking (not for me).
Seems like I have to stop seeing everybody.