How to Convince Your Friends to Train Like You

I’ve said before that it’s a waste of time trying to convert friends or family to your training, diet and lifestyle. Argumentation is always useless and you can’t force people to do whatever may benefit them, they need to want it first. If you’re looking for a trainingpartner, better to find a guy who already gets it.

There’s frankly only 1 method that I have discovered works but it requires…

  1. a potential training partner who is motivated
  2. a pair of, quite bluntly, brass balls

SL Member Jake found it funny a while back when I said that you got to be a douche with some guys but it’s true. My mentor was a douche with me when I started training 11y ago. And if he hadn’t been, I wouldn’t be writing this today.

So here’s how to be that douche: the guy goes to the gym with you, does exactly what you say, and shuts his friggin’ mouth. The idea is that you want him to see with his own eyes what gains he can get with strength training. His results will do the talking and save you the otherwise useless argumentation.

Personal example, I’ve been training with my 4y younger brother for most of 2010. He used to do silly bodybuilding routines because “that’s what I did before I got into strength training”. Very inconsistent with his training as a result, and little to show for. I never bothered with him because I know better.

Then one day he seemed to be ready to be serious about this. So I invited him to train with me. Notice: HE trained with ME – I didn’t train with him. We trained on the days I choose, at the time I decided, and following MY program. And if he was 5 mins late I started without him. This is what I call being a douche.

I learned this from my mentor. Whenever I arrived too late, he also started without me. It frankly pissed me off, it would still do, and I thought he was a real jerk. BUT, I can’t argue with the results – I quickly made sure to arrive on time. This is how you separate the men from the boys. Some guys will get it, others won’t. The latter will drag you down anyway, so you can only win.

My brother stuck around and within a few weeks the result started to show. He still has issues with what I can’t control ““ his diet ““ and so he has hardly gained weight (158lbs). But he pulled 300lbs, benched 210lbs, had to buy new clothes (muscle gains), gets a lot of compliments, his girlfriend loves it, etc.

The important thing is that at no point did I discuss why we would train a certain way. He just did exactly what I told him to do, kept his mouth shut, and stopped picking up that damn phone while we were training.

As a result, I don’t need to “convince” him that my way of training is better than that bodybuilding crap he used to do – he has seen it with his own eyes. And since he’s now finally benching more weight than his friend doing bodybuilding routines, he’s now hooked to this style of training.

So that’s what I call being a douche. Whoever it is, you just take them with you the gym, on your terms, and make them train exactly like you. Whenever they say something, go “shut up and lift, we’re not here to talk”. If they don’t stick around, they’re simply not ready yet and you’re better off without them.