More on Strength Training & Relationships

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This is a follow up of last week’s What if Your Partner Doesn’t Want You to Do Strength Training? You posted so many good replies, I decided to answer you in a post rather than in individual comments. Here it goes.

Strength Training Is What I Am
. There’s this thing with strength training. I don’t know what it is, but it wakes up something. It makes you feel better, makes you feel alive, makes you feel like a man.


Strength training IS what I am. Not being able to workout would mean I would be suffering as much (I’d say more, but hee) as she would when I would deny her hobbies.


Working out makes me happy.

Strength training is what I am. So much I turned this passion into my job. I can’t imagine a life without it. You make me choose between strength training & anything else, you lose. I need strength training.

What if They Don’t Understand?
Some don’t want to understand that strength training is what you are and that you need it to be happy & normal.

David A:

It’s only the low self-esteem, needy women who cannot tolerate a man who takes a portion of his day or week to refine his body. The women who need all the attention and cannot share you with anyone or anything. In the past I might have tried to act different for the sake of a woman’s attention…screw that. Too old for that now! It’s my way or the highway, woman!

Some will call you selfish. I say it’s your selfishness against their selfishness. Don’t let anyone prevent you to do what you need to do to be happy. Especially if it doesn’t inflict the right of others & improves your health. Walk away.

Quote from Pook years ago: “You don’t build a relationship, you buy one.” Don’t lose time trying to change people. Plenty of fish in the sea. They can’t accept who you are: walk away. Makes both your lives easier.

Why Women Are Attracted to Muscles.
8 out of 10 women don’t like muscles. Makes them insecure, don’t like seeing veins & muscles, etc. However they will be attracted for you for different reasons.

David A:

In my experience, a good quality woman may not love your routine or physical self-absorption, but she will come to accept it as part of you and in fact maybe actually admire and value you for your discipline and devotion to an activity that doesn’t involved spending money or drinking LOL.

People love throwing the idea that you should conform, but they want what is scarce. Strength training builds character. Living healthy & having a passion differentiates you from other men. Those things are attractive. Don’t change.

When to Workout
? Men need time for themselves, their friends & their women. So when do you workout when you’re in a relationship?

Michael Brito:

Get up earlier then everyone else, workout (only takes about an hour), get home before anyone wakes up. They don’t even have to know that I went to the gym.


Some workout 5 x 1.5 hour (plus traveling time to the gym) and you have a friend who’s never around. Just to sleep, eat & have sex. I work out at lunch at work and on Sunday morning, so there’s hardly any interference with our quality time.

Waking up earlier on Sunday always worked for me too. Have breakfast, workout, take shower. By the time you’re done, she’s awake. You worked out, you’re happy. She had her sleep, she’s happy.

I like doing a Mo/We/Fr routine like StrongLifts 5×5. Tuesday for girl, Thursday friends, Friday evening girl, Saturday friends and/or girl, Sunday girl. Familiarity breeds contempt. Take time to miss each other.

Working Out With Your Partner.
I’ve done rock climbing, badminton, running, etc with women before, but never weight lifting.

Mike P:

I encourage you guys to sweet talk your women into going to the gym with you. It may not be your ideal situation, but at least you can stick with strength training and grow in your relationship.

Gubernatrix (woman):

Men, you need to encourage your women to go to the gym and lift weights. Not all of them will be interested, but some might be! They probably think it is an intimidating blokey thing, so make an effort to “˜debunk’ some of the common myths around strength training and show them how much fun it is!

Women love sports from my experience. Especially when it helps them improve their physique. I wouldn’t hold back. Women are tougher than you might think & can be competitive. And they love it when you teach them something new.

The Other Side of The Story.
Okay, so I was speaking from my experience as a man. What if you’re a woman? Some reactions of women:


How about the HUSBAND (now ex-husband) who complains that his wife spends too much time working out. He wants dinner on the table “at a reasonable hour”.

Works two ways here, boys. I bet she won’t mind you working out for an hour or two every evening if you come home and do some housework for an hour. Without asking what to do or how to do it. Give it a try……just some advice from the other side.

My pet peeve: men who say they don’t like muscular women. Translation: “I don’t like you because you can outlift me”.


If you were down the gym 5 nights a week for a couple of hours (incl travel time, changing etc) and then arrived home tired and a bit sleepy, I could understand a partner feeling a little left out.

Men who say they don’t want women to lift weight, don’t know what physique women can build from doing strength training naturally. I don’t like women who look like men, but I like sporty women.

And it does work two ways. Time for you, time for your friends, time for your woman. And when it’s time for your woman, it is time for your woman. Women need attention, you can’t give it to them, don’t get involved with them.

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